


Hatching the Egbert

by ArchmageIsACat



Series: John: Transgend -> [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Allusions and References to sexual content but no actual sexual content, Discord App, Dog Tail Jade Real, Dream Sequence, Earth C (Homestuck), Furry Conventions (Mentioned), Fursona Creation, Gen, Gender Exploration, Gender Identity, Jade's Yiff Shirt, John Egg-bert, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Post-Canon, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Jade Harley, Trans Female John Egbert, Transgender Fiction, furry fandom, gender expression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:34:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchmageIsACat/pseuds/ArchmageIsACat
Summary: John Egbert has neglected his friendships for years since they won Sburb, now, teetering on the edge of a truth that's been on his periphery since he was a kid, he seeks out new friends while grappling with an ever-changing living situation.
Relationships: John Egbert & Jade Harley, John Egbert & Original Character(s)
Series: John: Transgend -> [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776955
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26
Collections: June Egbert Jam





	Hatching the Egbert

A young man almost stands in his bedroom. Almost, as he is not standing. He is laying on his bed. The covers do not lay over him. He is on his phone. It just so happens that 8 months ago, the thirteenth of april, was this young man’s birthday. There was a party, though he did not attend. He hadn’t attended a birthday party in 4 years, whether his own or anybody else’s. Though if asked he’d make some excuse about forgetting, or lacking time, the truth is he doesn’t know, he doesn’t think about it. He simply spends his time on his phone, absentmindedly refreshing social media until something new comes up, or on his computer, watching videos, or sleeping through the day. The streets are not empty, nor does the wind skim the void keeping neighbors apart. The note desolation plays to tune its instrument hasn’t been heard in years and the conductor’s baton rose and fell long ago. The symphony concluded its final movement when the game was won, yet the feeling of all 22 years preceding your life, the feeling that something is missing from your life, has never left you. The riddler has long since ceased taking time from his day to slight you, but his riddle of lack remains. It is a feeling so suffocating, so overbearing, that you have forgotten its existence at all, you’ve buried it so deep that even your most furious tantrum cannot rile it from its resting place, and would you recognize it were you to unearth it from your soul? You look up from your phone to the ceiling, weighed down on by a presence you choose not to see.  
Your name is JOHN EGBERT, and you have a feeling it’s going to be a long day.

You get off your bed and make your way to the bathroom. You stare at yourself in the mirror for a while. You haven’t had to shave in a few years. You’d guess it was an effect of god tiering, if you ever stopped to really consider it, but you allowed some facial hair to grow out once, and when you looked in the mirror you didn’t recognize it as you. Objectively you knew that it was your reflection, it mimicked your movements and made your expressions, you even accepted this fact, but you did not recognize it all the same. You remember thinking “that’s fucked up lol. ” and moving on. Another drop in the bucket, so to speak. After shaving it all off though, you never grew facial hair again. Maybe it was a mental block in your self image, that you with a moustache was simply too far of an abstraction from yourself, and your body responded by not allowing it to occur again. But this is not something you think about, not consciously. You simply have these thoughts and then move them out of your own perception. Put it aside either because it isn't pleasant to think about or because your life has trained you so thoroughly to move through it like an automaton, not a man, but one level abstracted away from a man, a person at a controller skipping through the dialogue to get to the gameplay, but never truly connecting with yourself.

You’re out of the shower before you realize you’ve left the front of the mirror. You alchemize a set of clean clothes instead of retrieving them from your closet or the laundry, the code for this shit is pretty much ingrained in your brain by now. You make your way downstairs and pour yourself some fruit loops, then begin to see which of your friends is available to message.

No luck with him.

Maybe Rose?

This is such bullshit. Why isn’t anyone talking to you today? Sure you haven’t been present in their lives lately but it's not like you became comically evil and stole someone’s child or something! Whatever, you’re sure someone is available to chat. You haven’t really talked with Jade much in years, that could get awkward, and Dirk… god no. Hmmm. You think for a while longer about who to message, and eventually settle on the one person who always answers, who is always able to talk because she has nothing but time where she is. You message terezi.

GC: YOU KNOW 4S W3LL 4S 4NYON3 TH4T T1M3 1S HOOFB34STSH1T H3R3  
GC: BUT TH4T’S B3S1D3S TH3 PO1NT 3GG BOY  
GC: H4V3 YOU CONS1D3R3D TH4T YOUR FR13NDS H4V3 L1V3S OUTS1D3 OF B3ING YOUR FR13NDS >:?  
GC: TH3 WORD VOM1T S1BL1NGS 4R3 PROB4BLY H4V1NG SLOPPY 1NT3RSP3C13S M4K3OUTS W1TH K4N4Y4 4ND K4RK4T  
GC: J4D3 1S MOST L1K3LY 4T SOM3 L4M3 HUM4N V3RS1ON OF M1DW3ST B34STF3ST  
GC: OR BURN1NG 4N 3FF1GY   
GC: HOP3FULLY BOTH  
GC: 4ND TH3 L4M3 CLON3S OF YOUR GU4RD14NS 4R3 BUSY PL4Y1NG PR3T3ND C4P1T4L1SM W1TH CONS3QU3NC3S FOR 3V3RYON3 3LS3

BRO4D3N YOUR GROUP OF FR13NDS

You stop in the middle of your message and take in your conversation with terezi. Maybe she’s right. Your friends do have lives outside of you, and you haven’t really been interacting with them anyways. Maybe you should go make some new friends.

You have no idea how to do that. You met all your friends online or through bullshit time shenanigans, and that was years ago. Fuck dude, this sucks. Whatever, it can’t be that hard, right? What’s that app all the cool kids are using today? Tusky? No wait that’s for that federated site, the one that’s twitter but not shit by default. The one that has a bunch of public and private servers for whatever interest people are grouping around? Discord? Okay yeah cool discord. You should go make an account for that. It’d probably be a bit surreal to have a god just suddenly join a random server though, so you make your username a bit less obvious, maybe something to do with one of your less well known interests?

Yeah that should work. You’re really getting into this until you remember you don’t actually know of any discords. There’s the catch. You’re beginning to think maybe this friend-making deal might be more trouble than it’s worth. Sure you could probably find a discord to join with a little bit of elbow grease online, but do you *really* want to? Maybe you should start with an easier entry point… You don’t necessarily have to start it with a brand new set of people to interact with, maybe try and get your foot in the door through some recommendations from other friends.

You go to open pesterchum only to be surprised with a message from your sister. You guess the awkward conversation gets to happen now then.

EB: people like you?  
EB: do you mean like our friends, like gods?  
GG: … sure.  
GG: but like i said i need a place to stay because of this. :(  
GG: most of the hotels nearby are ones im canceling my stay at because of the cons and even with my powers it’d take a while to get back home with all my stuff.  
EB: uh, sure jade.  
EB: who’s the creep you wanna avoid anyways?  
GG: id rather not talk about it john.  
EB: that’s fair, i guess.  
EB: do you need me to prepare a room for you to stay in or are you gonna stay in the living room?  
GG: doesn’t your house have two bedrooms?   
EB: oh, yeah, i guess it does.  
EB: you could stay in my dad’s room then.  
GG: wait you havent moved into there yet?   
EB: why would i?  
GG: nevermind.  
GG: i guess ill be on my way over then! :p

You close pesterchum on your phone, and you feel as if you’ve just closed a chapter of your life. A certain sense of motion you haven’t felt since you walked through the door on the lilypad seems to slowly seep back into you. The stagnant air seems to stir. Though it isn’t as cataclysmic as your thirteenth birthday or as momentous as being cast throughout canon, something is happening, and you feel relief. You begin to clean your house to prepare for Jade’s visit.

An hour later you find yourself holding a half full trash bag, and looking at a room that while definitely looking significantly less like a dorm room for 8 barely passing college dudes, is still kind of a fucking mess. You hear a knock at the door.

JADE: hey john, its me! 

You are not ready for her to be here at all. You open the door anyways to welcome her in.

JOHN: hey jade, sorry about the mess. i tried to clean up before you got here but-

You once again become aware that you are still holding a half full trash bag.

JOHN: so anyways let’s get your stuff up to my dad’s room.  
JOHN: wait, how come none of this stuff is in your sylladex?  
JADE: oh i try to cut down on the use of it when im at  
JADE: well when ive planned to go to conventions…  
JADE: i dont know john i just feel it makes for a more authentic experience when i have to carry everything to and from a con as if i dont have like a million cards in there at any given time.   
JOHN: what ever.

You help Jade carry her bags up to the room, and you watch her begin to unpack. Her bags are filled with various costumes of vibrant colors and shapes. You recognize some of these from anime you’ve watched, and others simply catch your eye out of how pretty they are. Jade even takes out a fursuit that’s been designed to allow costumes to fit over it, and hangs a body cooling suit alongside it. As she pulls out all these outfits, these various skirts and dresses belonging to characters you’re familiar with and characters you aren’t, you begin to feel weird. It’s this negative emotion bubbling quietly inside you, not anger, but envy? You’re surprised by the sudden grip of jealousy taking hold of you, you don’t know why you feel like this, and the realization you’re jealous only confuses your feelings further. You don’t even notice that the room has gotten cold and humid until Jade speaks up.

JADE: you alright john?   
JADE: the air in here is getting really uncomfortable and its not good for my cosplays…  
JADE: and youre kinda quiet right now. :(  
JOHN: huh?  
JOHN: oh, sorry jade, let me fix that.

You push the air out of the room, clearing the humidity and chill.

JOHN: do you need anything else, or should i let you get settled in?  
JADE: i think im fine here for now john. :)  
JOHN: alright.

You exit the room before you can make anything else awkward. Jade comes downstairs about 15 minutes later, wearing an oversized shirt with “YIFF!” emblazoned across the chest in comic sans, and a pair of sweatshorts that just barely poke out from beneath the shirt. She vaults the couch and drops a few things from her sylladex into your lap. She levitates a usb into your tv and the display switches to one from a computer, which you then recognize as her computer as she levitates it off of your lap and in front of her. She then picks up a tablet and pen from your lap, clearing it off of everything she put on it, and opens a drawing program on her computer.

JOHN: uh…  
JOHN: what’s this jade?  
JADE: you asked me to “bring you in” so thats what im doing! :B  
JADE: i figured what better way to make you a furry than by helping you make a fursona.  
JOHN: oh, i thought we’d do that later?  
JADE: i mean we can if you want but i dont really have anything going on right now and im kinda bored anyways.  
JADE: unless you wanna watch con-air again.  
JOHN: god no! fine, let’s do the fur sona thing.  
JADE: alright! :D  
JADE: were definitely watching con-air again this month though. >:3c  
JOHN: augh!  
JADE: so what species do you want them to be?  
JOHN: them? you mean him?  
JADE: if you want.   
JADE: plenty of peoples sonas are different genders than them!  
JOHN: you can just do that?  
JADE: yeah, nobodys gonna be a cop about it or anything.   
JOHN: but like  
JOHN: i mean who would  
JOHN: i couldn’t just make my fur sona a girl!  
JADE: you definitely could!  
JOHN: and why would a girl wanna make her fur sona a boy!?  
JOHN: being a boy sucks!  
JADE: it sounds like you kinda wanna make your fursona a girl…  
JOHN: well sure i want to…  
JADE: ...so…  
JOHN: but i CAN’T!  
JOHN: he’s gonna be a boy and that’s final.  
JADE: alright john, hes a boy.  
JADE: now back to what i actually asked about, what species do you want HIM to be?  
JOHN: i don’t know…  
JOHN: i guess a bunny would be kinda…  
JADE: kinda what?  
JOHN: nevermind.  
JADE: so no bunny then.  
JOHN: no no i want him to be a bunny!  
JADE: alright then.  
JADE: hey john, is this related to con-air at all?  
JOHN: AAAAAAAAAAAA!

Jade cackles at this response, but she continues this process. She asks you a question, you spend 5 minutes being weird about it before giving her an answer, and she draws another part of your new fursona. By the time the two of you finish, she’s drawn a bunny with rounded glasses, a robotic arm, purple fur, and a big baggy hoodie. You feel a way you can’t describe as anything but odd now, looking at your fursona on the screen, and thinking about the topics you discussed during the whole project. You feel like you’re staring at a window covered in curtains, and there’s something just outside that you could only see if you could make yourself pull them aside, but you refuse. You thank Jade for her help anyways, and tell her you’re going to go to bed. She protests that it’s only seven, and that you haven’t even eaten dinner. You tell her you aren’t hungry, and close the door to your bedroom. You don’t even bother to get out of your clothes, you just pull up the covers, set your glasses on the nightstand, and flop into your bed.

You don’t know when you pass into dreams, only that you do.

You find your father dead in front of you, a tall black mass towering over you with sword in hand. You ready your hammer, preparing to strike, but find the mass faster, the sword piercing your chest. You split in two. The mass speaks into your ear as you fall in slow motion. “Have you ever considered growing your hair out? I bet it would look fabulous.” The other half of yourself speaks in reply “no, it would look so stupid!” You crash through the ground and find yourself whole again. Jane’s father walks you down the aisle. You’re in the same dress you saw kanaya wear to marry rose. Terezi stands at the altar. She texts you a spade. You run, tearing off the dress and getting as far away as you can. You run for what feels like hours until you realize you’re in a room full of mirrors. Staring in any direction you see only yourself. You feel cold, and empty. Your chest is wrong. Your face, you see looking up, has stubble. You feel disgusted. You feel disgusting. Your shoulders stand wide. You think they look manly. You hate them. You think you’re gross. You shut your eyes and cry. No matter how hard you tighten your eyes you still see a man, and that makes you sad, and mad, and disgusted, and tired. You sit there and you cry and you wait to wake up.

You barely remember your dream when you do. It’s 10:56 am, much earlier than you usually get out of bed, but then again you went to bed far earlier than you normally do. You take a hand towel from the bathroom and wash your face, then put on your glasses and head downstairs. Your fursona still sits on the tv, and when you open the fridge you see a box of takeout on the shelf. It has a sticky note with your name on it. Jade must have gotten some after you went to bed. You hear the front door unlocking and then see Jade come through it with two large bags of food.

JADE: oh good youre up!  
JADE: i brought breakfast…  
JADE: er…  
JADE: well, probably lunch actually.  
JOHN: are those bags full of burgers?  
JADE: yeah! :)

Your stomach grumbles. Turns out only having eaten a bowl of fruit loops the previous day makes you hungry. Who would have guessed. Jade closes the front door and sets the bags of burgers and various fried sides on the table and starts making herself a plate. You make a plate as well because you can’t stand to be in the same place as the smell coming from those bags while you’re so hungry.

JOHN: so how’s your day been?  
JADE: pretty good.  
JADE: i got up a couple hours ago and stopped by… a couple shops.  
JOHN: what kind?  
JADE: nevermind that, i just picked up a few things for myself.  
JADE: did you sleep well? :?  
JOHN: not really. i had some weird dreams to be honest.  
JADE: kink weird or psychoanalysis weird?  
JADE: or both?  
JOHN: i don’t remember really?  
JOHN: i just know they sucked and i woke up crying.  
JADE: well thats not good john. i hope youre feeling better now. :(  
JOHN: i guess.  
JADE:  
JOHN:  
JADE:  
JOHN:  
JADE:  
JOHN: hey these burgers are pretty good, where’d you get them?  
JADE: oh! there’s this place over near one of the convention centers, i wanted to get there before the rush because… yeah.  
JOHN: hey jade, do you know any discords i could join?  
JADE: not… really…  
JADE: i mean i do but im not exactly keen on you joining them right now, sorry.  
JOHN: what? why not?  
JADE: i put some personal stuff on there! stuff im DEFINITELY not ready for you to see.  
JOHN: fine.  
JADE: if it makes you feel better ill try and find a discord for you to join that im not on, does that sound alright?  
JOHN: yeah. thank you jade.

The rest of lunch goes by wordlessly. Jade spends most of the day out, and you spend your day as you normally do. Around the time Jade gets home, you’ve retrieved the takeout from the fridge and started eating it cold. Jade hands you a piece of paper.

JOHN: what’s this?  
JADE: its the invite code to a furry discord.  
JOHN: oh. thanks.  
JADE: dont worry about it john, you asked for help with this and i figured you could use it.

You stare down at the code on the paper, and eventually punch it into your phone. You introduce yourself on the discord and start chatting about various things, and when you go to bed you stay awake, holding your phone as you lay on your side, the first step towards getting some new friends finished. You don’t get much sleep tonight.


End file.
